Today brought on a feeling of eerie contrasts. Adjacent to the commonplace appeared the unfamiliar activities of a new mother. Such juxtaposition has a way of catching me off guard.
On countless Sunday mornings over the past 10 years, I have filled water bottles for my weekly long run. I did so again today and chuckled as the process extended to include bottles of breastmilk. My hydration dovetailed strangely with my preparations to leave Tom and BabyBear flying solo.
One of my favourite post-run rituals involves a deep tub of steamy water. I sighed today as my body eased into a soak as hot as I could handle. Where candles once appeared, I found a row of rubber ducks lining my bathtub ledge. Yeah, things are definitely different around here.
The final moment of surprise occured during a phone conversation with my mother, a woman who raised me to be a feminist. I was stunned to hear her suggest that Sarah Palin is not capable of serving as vice-president because she cannot help but be distracted by her children. That no mother can distance her family's needs from the needs of a nation. That a woman with a 5-month old baby cannot think with the clarity required to craft foreign policy.
It didn't matter when I pointed out that no one would question a man's ability to focus in identical circumstances. It didn't matter when I assured her that having a child did not affect my ability to question, negotiate, and articulate my point of view.
It didn't matter, because she believes that mothers don't get to demand what is fair and equal. In a nutshell, a woman can do anything, until she has a baby. It was odd to hear this from the woman who has ensured that I had every opportunity in life.
I imagine that these contrasts will continue to appear as I navigate new motherhood. I will wash bottles. I will set aside bath toys during my recovery soak. And will more perceived barriers emerge as I strike a balance in my responsibilities and aspirations? Time will tell.
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2 comments:
You know, it's funny that in all my thinking about Palin and the whole parenthood/VP thing, I never once thought that she wouldn't be able to do her job (whether she's actually qualified is another issue...). Rather, I've questioned her ability to be a good parent. It seems to me (though of course it's her decision) that her family really needs her attention right now. I'd say the same if it were Mr. Palin running for VP. And from the start I've questioned Obama's wisdom for choosing to run while his daughters are still so young.
I'm not saying they aren't good parents, I'm just saying I don't see how they can be great and involved parents. Personally, I shoot for being a great parent. Good ain't good enough.
-rachel
-LittlerInch.com
ITA with Rachel's comment -- I had the same reaction to the news of Palin's appointment (after I'd googled her and learned of her family situation). I felt the same way when John Edwards was campaigning despite his wife's battle with cancer. And whether I like to admit it or not, someone's parenting and the priority they place on it does factor into my voting.
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